Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you Dressage. Taking the gold in the category of fanciest Olympic sport. Making it even fancier? It’s not pronounced “dress-edge”. It’s pronounced “Dress –ASSAGE” (like massage)
And now sideways!
And now backwards!
And now in place!
And now even fancier with the prancing! Come on girls, lift those heels!
The swim researcher on dressage:
Really? This is what we’ve come to? We’re giving out medals for this? The same medal that Michael Phelps won? “You just know that horse is saying, ‘ok, let me get this straight. You’re going to give me a carrot to walk around in a circle and then you’re going to get a gold medal?’”
At least the British team won. So that brought happiness. But mostly fanciness.
(ok, horse, go jump something now)