Sunday, October 9, 2011

baseball fever

Something must be wrong with me. It could be a fever. Bird flu. Maybe I've got the SARS. I don't know what it is but something is definitely wrong with me.

Symptoms? Only one. But one is enough.

I'm sitting at home on sunday afternoon and I'm voluntarily... wait for it... I'm voluntarily watching baseball. Alone. By myself. Just me and the tv and a baseball game. And I'm doing it on purpose.

I should probably go to the emergency room.

Here's the thing. I don't HATE baseball. I just don't find much use for it. If tackling was allowed, I would be way more interested. And maybe they should wear short shorts. And tall socks. Yeeeaaa....

I mean, by all counts, I really should be a fan of baseball.

I love hanging out with friends. I love drinking beer. Ergo, I should love baseball.

But I don't. I love the before and after parts and I kind of just endure the middle bit when the baseball part is going on. It's usually made better when I have a group of friends that also want to wander the concourse and buy hats. THEN the middle bit is kind of fun (well, because then it's shopping).

So why I am sitting here on a Sunday afternoon watching baseball on purpose? Because I am a fan of sporting moments. Which makes me an indiscriminate fan of all sports. If something edge-of-your-seat exciting is going on in curling, I'm all in. And right now, the Brewers are killing it in the post season so of course, I'm all in.

I doubt this will make me a baseball fan though. If I was a fan, that would mean that I would have to spend 6 months waiting for this kind of excitement. I just don't have that sort of patience.

They spend 6 months playing games that don't really count. Ok, they kind of count but really, only a few of them count. I get that they need to win their division so of course the season matters but when you get 3 tries to hit a ball (not including the ball calls), 3 outs to an inning, 9 innings to a game and 4-5 games to a series, and what, 6 months of games before the post season even starts?? well, that's a LOT of moments that don't count.

In other sports, like football, skating and gymnastics, games that don't count are called PRACTICE.

You get your one shot a week, a month, maybe a year and if you blow, you're done. Now THAT'S a sporting moment.

But I'm not a total buttmunch when it comes to baseball. I always support local teams so because of that, I'm "technically" a huge brewers fan. I will proudly wear my brewers shirt, jacket and hat out and about. I will patiently listen when my friends freak out over the chance to meet Bernie Brewer and/or Ryan Braun and I will genuinely look forward to the chance to run through miller stadium during a 5k. It's just that I basically have no idea about anything brewer related. Oh, I do know that Ryan Braun is pretty hot and that he bites his nails in left field.

I also know that Prince Fielder is WAY overestimating his ability and asking for too much money and should just shut up already and stay in milwaukee.

So I know some stuff.

What I do know, more than anything, is that no one supports their teams like Wisconsin. A perfect example happened on Friday when I scored tickets to the game with some good friends (and by "scored" I mean, paid out the nose for). The gentleman behind us introduced himself the moment we sat down in front of him and his wife and quite seriously let us know that he would prefer it if we not boo the opposing team. "It's bush league", he said.

Wait - what?!! Really dude?? I thought booing the other team was half the fun! But I, and all of our neighbors, respected his wish (even though it was reaaalllly hard at times!) After the game, it actually felt good that we didn't boo at all - and I noticed how little milwaukee boos in comparison to what you hear from most other teams. Sure, things get heated and there is definitely some booing. But, for the most part, Milwaukee is a pretty decent place for a visiting team. We're just REALLY LOUD for our own team.

I went to the game on Friday because I knew, no matter win or lose, that it had the potential to be an EPIC sporting moment. So, of course, I had to be there. They played the Diamondbacks, fifth game in the series, do or die. Ahhhh!!! Drama!!! YES! FINALLY! And wow - it did not disappoint.

When the Brewers won, it was like a firecracker of noise was shot off. I found myself screaming so loud that I couldn't even hear myself anymore. The place exploded like nothing I've ever experienced. We were all jumping up and down, screaming, crying, hugging and high-fiving everyone around us. It was magical.

A true sporting moment.

It took 7 months to get there but I guess that's what made it all the sweeter. I wish I had the patience to endure that sort of wait but I'm afraid I never will. However, next season I think I may have to give baseball a bit more of a chance.

But first, I'm starting a petition to allow tackling in MLB.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

I don't like Eric Roberts

This morning I was watching one of those Biography features on Nancy McKeon. (sometimes this sort of thing happens on sunday morning. there is no explaining.) I learned a lot of 'facts of life' that come in handy when playing 80's Trivial Pursuit. Such as, Nancy McKeon dated Michael J. Fox!!!! Oh wait... I knew that. Oh, well, I also discovered that Nancy McKeon did a buttload of Lifetime original movies!!! Oh wait, I knew that too.

Ok, so I wasn't exactly discovering anything new and I was just about to abort mission when that crazy Eric Roberts popped up on the screen.

What the heck does he have to do with Nancy McKeon? (a quick glance to wikipedia shows that this dude did a LOT of movies and tv work and yet I can't, for the life of me, think of a single role I remember him in. ha! suck it eric roberts). I was all in a tizzy because how dare the esteemed producers of a Biography special overlook Tootie in favor of Eric Roberts! But just as I was about to put pen to paper and whip off a complaint letter, Eric Roberts said this....

"These kinds of interviews, you have to be careful with what you say because everyone always overstates it 'oh she's the best actress...' you can get lost in that crap.
Nancy McKewon is a remarkable actress. Now, what do I say to make you know what I mean? (dramatic pause)
I think I'm a remarkable actor.... I think she's just as good as I am on my best day."

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Flying with the Addams Family

Hi blog. Long time no type.

I was in San Francisco for the weekend and it was the most wonderful, relaxing get away ever. I got to run my favorite trail ever (the Dipsea in Muir Woods), shop, wander around the city, hang out in the woods, climb on old bath-house ruins, take pictures of mossy trees and piss off an old Chinese guy. Now THAT's a great trip!

On the flight home, I ended up sitting next to this couple in their early 20's - they were... err.... special. They were clearly heavy into the goth thing, the girl had jet black dreadlocks with some streaks of red, wearing all black, some random chains and a strange fanny pack (that I assume held a dead bat). The guy was similarly dressed and had piercings all over his face, ears and I'm sure other places - ew. (and was rather doughy - I always think of goth/emo kids as being too misunderstood to eat. Apparently that wasn't a problem for him)

So when I fly, I'm kind of an A-hole. I don't want to talk to ANYone. Don't look at me, don't make eye contact, don't strike up a chatty conversation about the weather, just. don't. Sorry middle aged aunty from Oklahoma. When I fly, it's me and the clouds.

So because of my very strict no-being-friendly rules, I didn't bother to say hello to the Addams family couple. But then I overheard the girl lean into her boyfriend and say "they're all staring at us" and I felt kind of bad.

But I got over it five seconds later.

What the heck dark and scary couple?!?! Isn't that WHY you dress like that? For attention? So that you can telegraph to the world how dark and deep your feeeeelings are - so dark in fact that you can only wear black clothing? Using that logic, the entire island of Manhattan must also have very dark and deep feeeeeeeeelings.

If you're going to make the choice to pierce the skin around your eye with 20 small metal studs, then you kind of have to expect someone to look at you sideways. Because it's not something that you see very often. (Because it's dumb) But clearly when you went to the Claire's counter in the mall and asked the teenager working the desk to turn your face into a sprinkler system for your tear ducts, you knew that wasn't a normal thing to do. And wasn't that the point? To be less 'normal'? To distance yourself from the idiots who shop at the gap and hold down jobs and have enough money to buy houses and cars....

Yes - I'm sure the idiots buying house in their gap chinos feel awfully bad about themselves when they see your stylin' choices.

So here's the thing. If you do something to intentionally make yourself stand out from the crowd, embrace it. Own it girl. Just don't be surprised when someone looks at you twice trying to figure out if that's a pincushion on your forehead.

But more importantly, realize that you are the one that made the choice to stand out and when you stand out, people stare. That's the point of standing out. So don't go making it their fault for staring.

And also - shower before you get on a long flight. You smelled like day old urine.