Clean family fun

My mom is one funny lady... but sometimes I have to admit I'm simply shocked by her potty humor.

Case in point: My mom is staying with me through the holidays and Monday morning was the first time she's been at my place in a very long time. Knowing that the smallest little misfire can send her headfirst into a wild uncontrollable satanic-like fury, I decided to leave her a VERY sweet, VERY helpful little note reminding her that my coffee pot has a tendency to spill so pour over the sink. How awful would it be to be trying for a simple cup of coffee and wind up spilling half a pot all over the counter and floor? It would not be a fun way to start the trip! So clearly - I was looking out for her best interests.

Me = good daughter. Possibly best ever.

Here is the note with the response my mother left me....


The note says "Remember to pour coffee over the sink - it drips"

The kindly motherly response was "Remember to NOT poop your pants!"

And people wonder where I get it from...

Aw, mom - she's one of kind, that lady.

Goose?

I would just like to let everyone know, in case there were any questions or queries floating around in your brains right now.... that in fact, I am NOT roasting a hand-plucked goose for Christmas.

Just wanted to clarify that in case there was any concern, fear or wondering.

You're welcome kitchen.

Snow day! Has anyone seen my garden gnome....

YAY!! SNOW DAY!!!! I don't think I've experienced a full blown snow day in ... oh man.... FOREVER. I never had a true snow day in nyc - the one day it did dump a few years back, it was a saturday and then it just doesn't matter. It's like being given a pair of baby blue cashmere mittens and you live in Bermuda. Nice gesture but completely useless.

I have these little bobble head garden gnomes that live on my porch. I have three of them, but right now only two are living here. I believe the third one has taken a trip.... or perhaps - and it pains me to admit this - but perhaps he was gnome-napped. I prefer to believe he's just on holiday. It's easier than thinking of my little gnome being tortured by gnome-haters somewhere out there in the big scary world.

If you see my little gnome, please tell him I miss him. He carries an ax and goes by the name Lord Prissy Pants.

little promo thingy

I threw together a little promo for the boot camp I've been attending to help them promote their January sessions... (hit the "watch in high quality" button - it's better that way)
Link

the instructor in the blue shirt that's talking is the sandi that I refer to every once in awhile in this blog... notice how she seems super sweet and nice?? Yea - she APPEARS totally harmless. Be not deceived my friends.

be not deceived....

Like my cameo? I interviewed myself. That was way too easy... Like I don't spend half my days talking to myself anyway... I catch myself gesturing madly in my car sometimes as I argue with myself or explain to myself the events of a previous day. I wonder what that means?

I plead "only child syndrome"

my car tells me secrets

When I moved to Milwaukee, one of the things I was most excited about was the prospect of having a brand new car. Driving to work sounded like the most lavish luxury in the world after years of holding my nose on the subway. Now granted - me loves the subway at night when I'm drunk and it takes me home and I don't have to drive anything, but in the morning.... on my way to work... seeing feces is SO not fun. Which - weird, right? You'd totally think that would be party central time.

One of my favorite things about my car is it talks to me and tells me secrets. Like when the temperature drops below 39 degrees, a little ding warns me to bundle up and drive slower. When I have a flat tire, a lovely icon (that took me a few weeks to figure out what it meant) tells me I'm low on air. (I - on the other hand - am NEVER short on hot air. Ways me and my car are different) But the absolute best part is that it tells me when I'm down to a drop of gas. Which, unfortunately, is VERY helpful. I have not yet noticed when I'm low on gas until that helpful little light comes on.

How did I get so neglectful in the gas department? (snicker....) I am a fairly smart girl but my total disregard - unintentional disregard, but disregard still - for filling up my tank confuses me. I am so reliant on my car just telling me what it needs that I never bother to stop and ask it how it's feeling.

Dear car - how is everything today? Happy? Blue? Anything I can do for you?

But no - I just take, take, take from my car.

Car - I am sorry. I love you and your four wheels and your heated seats and your windshield wipers and your ipod dock. You make me very happy and I promise, from now on, to try and return the favor by filling up your gas tank without having to be reminded.

In an unrelated note - I am totally addicted to this boot camp thing I've been doing on and off since September. I got pretty much annihilated by Sandi, the "drill sergeant" this morning. We did sprints and all of a sudden Sandi is right behind me, chasing me, yelling "don't let me catch you!!!"

Let me tell ya - she did not catch me. She blames her shoes. I'm subscribing to the theroy that I was just wicked fast this morning. Hear that Sandi!! I was wicked fast this morning! HA!

(I'm sooooo gonna pay for that comment in the near future - but bring it on!)

The fun part about bootcamp is that I have noticed that my energy levels are out of control high lately - and I normally maintain a fairly high eneregy level so for me to say they're "high".... um, you've been warned. I also just signed up for a half marathon in May and I'm crazy excited about training for it.

What in the world has happened to me?????

Not all games and fun

I mainly enjoy my job but filming long days is not all fun and games. I enter as evidence this incredibly heated conversation that recently occurred during a shoot in Richmond, VA. Proof that my job is nothing by stress-ville metropolis.

(actually - it may build a solid case for job-induced insanity....)