Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Ugh - HOTlanta indeed! I'm in Atlanta for a 3 day shoot this week and oh my... humidity much? It's not even all that hot, it's just humid. How do people live here but more importantly, how do the fancy ladies keep their hair from looking like koosh balls?

I totally forgot that southern ladies follow rules. Dress pretty, do your hair, do your make-up, don't swear, don't be crass, wear heels (even when walking the dog) etc etc etc. Sigh - being a fancy lady must be simply exhausting! Thank god I'm not a fancy lady.

sidenote: the "f" on my keyboard is taking a union break so if you see a word spelled 'uck' from me - go ahead and assume the worst.

Our interviews wrapped up at around 7 tonight and since the people here talk reeeaaaaalllllllyyy slowly, I decided that I needed to get a run in. So I headed out down a road named "Peachtree Road" per the suggestion of the long-winded concierge. I envisioned myself jogging happily along a shaded country road, perhaps snagging the occasional peach for hydration along the way. I mean, with a name like Peachtree Road, would you expect anything different?

My little country road was a 6 lane highway. No peaches in site. There were a lot of traffic cones and closed sidewalks. I guess the traffic cones were peach colored? Whatever - Peachtree Road FAIL!

And my legs just do not agree with the humidity. I was miserable for the first two miles and seriously contemplated turning around and crawling home like a defeated puppy (what do puppies get defeated at anyway? Croquet?) But then I saw something that changed my mind. I kept seeing signs for "Brookhaven" this and that. I was like hmm..... Brookhaven? Where do I know that name from? Sounds like a lovely name for a mental hospital. Maybe I could check myself in because I'm clearly nuts for continuing to run when I feel this crappy. And then it hit me - omg!!! Brookhaven!! As in the Brookhaven Obesity Clinic!?!?!?! As in that awesome show on TLC where the super obese people wearing moomoos check themselves into the super expensive fat clinic and then get their friends to sneak them KFC and then complain that they aren't losing any weight?? THAT Brookhaven? Dude! Reality show holy ground!

oh wait......

Ok. THIS is why I’m running. Because I don’t want to end up in the Brookhaven Obesity Clinic and with my very own TLC or Discovery channel special. I don’t want them to name a crane after me – as in, “tonight on TLC, a very special episode where we learn about a new crane that was developed to lift a woman who is now the size of three hippos. The crane will be named Nash and the dedication ceremony will be led by Roseanne Barr”

I got my mojo flowing after envisioning my TLC promo and started picking up the pace.

I couldn’t find my turn around but I did find a castle wall. I was like – DUDE! What is a castle wall doing here? Turned out I was passing the campus of Oglethorpe college. I have no idea what is at Oglethorpe college but the castle wall intrigued me so I took a little detour through the campus. Which – wow!!! Gorgeous! And the castle wall backed up to a baseball field. Ok, random, but super cool. The Georgia Shakespeare Festival was apparently going on so I decided to honor the muse and recite a few lines from the Bard. Macbeth, Hamlet, Midsummer’s Night Dream, Twelfth Night… of course, I don’t actually know any lines from Twelfth Night so I just hollered “12th Night! 12th Night!” a bunch of times and then was escorted off the campus by two men dressed in Barney the dinosaur outfits.

Ok, that last bit was a lie, but really, how cool would that have been to write about?

Oglethrope is also a really fun name to say. I would like to go to there. I would enjoy wearing a sweatshirt with the school name and just saying the name over and over.

Is it like Beetlejuice where you say it three times and he appears? I wonder what an Oglethorpe is? I would guess a combination of accounting professor and squid.

Humidity has made me a bit loopy. I did have a flash of realization on my way back through Brookhaven that I probably wouldn't end up there - but only because I don't like KFC. I don't care how many coupons Oprah gives away for it.

So eventually (after an eternity) my run ended. I ran into my two camera guys as I was walking into the hotel driveway and they started heckling me from across the street hollering “Hey! That’s not running!” Just at that moment another girl ran right past me and they yell out “THAT’S running! And she’s beating you!” Ha – funny guys.

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